An important trick of writing treatments is to convey your passion early on. You think you've found an excellent subject for a film—convince the reader. A good story, well researched and well told, goes a long way. As someone who's reviewed proposals, I can say from experience that many submitted treatments are little more than research documents, or, even worse, ideas that haven't progressed much beyond a basic topic. Treatments that attract attention are those that set up and deliver a compelling story, one that's informed by research and enlivened by something different—an unusual perspective, a new angle, unique access to people or places.
Tell a good story as best you can. Then run your treatment past someone who knows nothing about your movie, and preferably is not related to you, so that you get impartial feedback before you send your material to the people you're likely to need most at this stage—financiers.
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